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This makes my day

New favorite text from last night.

(519): and then she drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”


The Break Up Story

I’ve decided there are a few stories from Katie and I’s time in San Francisco, that may have been overlooked and in my opinion – they need to be shared. 

Let’s start with the most recent… Shall we?

This past Tuesday evening I was invited to two parties.  One was to celebrate my friend Kenny’s last night of working at Town Hall.  The other was a last minute invitation I received to be in attendance at my boyfriend Craig’s house that evening.  It was a theme party.  Tonight’s Theme: “I need to talk to you about something.”

It doesn’t take a complete moron to figure out what is supposed to happen next.  I debated whether or not cleavage was expected or required for such a party…

This was a party that I’ve only attended once, maybe twice before.  Usually, I’m the one throwing it.  So, I thought I’d come prepared.  I gathered all the items in my apartment that had originally belonged to Craig packed them in Katie’s car and brought them along with me.  And drove myself to my own break up, which I was invited to.

Upon my arrival, they typical awkward talk about how “things aren’t working out”, “do you feel the same way”, and other nonsense.  Except I added, “I guess it’s a good idea I brought all your stuff with me.”

Craig was very confused by this.  Apparently, he didn’t quite give me enough credit for being an intelligent and capable member of the human race.  He also didn’t quite understand why this was such an easy and painless break up…. We even decided we could even still be friends. Hell, we even shared a post-break up smoke.  (Even though we did quit at the beginning of the month.)  I suppose I don’t handle uncomfortable or painful situations the same way most people do.  Bottling and making jokes about things seem to work just fine for me.  I foresee a bitch slap from my future therapist for writing such a thing.  

Anyway, I truly was fine. 

Until, I realized that he had de-facebook friended me.  Did we just revert back to 8th grade, and I missed the memo.  REALLY?!  Who does that?  You’re not my girlfriend anymore, so we’re not friends anymore – AND you’re not invited to my birthday party anymore…. HA!  Whatever.  I’m sure in the future social encounters I’ll give him shit about this.

Also, this isn’t directly related to the break up – but, I found it a tish odd.  Craig’s roommate/co-worker, Nate and his girlfriend, Anjie thought last night was the absolute BEST night to come into my place of work to have dinner.  This sort of thing confuses me.  Katie would never just show up somewhere that Craig would definitely be the day after we broke up.  It’s just kind of, “let’s go gawk at the ex-girlfriend, that’s a fun Thursday night activity.”  Lame.  I do very much like these people, but come on.

Now, I officially throw my hat in the ring.  I’ve rejoined the ranks of singledom.  Congratulations, men of the world.  You may now thank Craig Beridon.

Less Than Impressive

Our latest tastes are as follows: (And are, well, less than impressive.  Obviously.)

12.  Morning Bun at Tartine Bakery

Morning Bun

This was okay.  It would have been good if it were warm.  But, it doesn’t even light a candle to the eclairs (ohhh) also at Tartine Bakery.

13.  Spiced Chocolate Donut at Dynamo Donut


It’s not that I didn’t like this.  But it just confused my taste buds to a point were I couldn’t exactly enjoy it.  Katie and I shared.  Katie and I didn’t finish.  ‘Nough said.  And you know we girls can eat…

Am I Proud?

You bet your sweet ass I am!

Actively Acting Against Bikini Weather

This week has been sort of a whirl wind.  

I picked up LOADS of extra shifts at Town Hall and then remembered that some friends from my recent trip to Harvard would be coming into town for a couple of weeks beginning last Thursday.  Fortunately, they are lovely ladies who prefer to fend for themselves rather than depend on my laughable attempts to entertain them.

I have also eaten several bags of Double Chocolate Milano Cookies – Mostly because I’ve been a major PMSing bitch for the majority of this week.  

Tonight, I procured a large amount of my restaurants “famous” butterscotch and chocolate pot de creme.  I’m trying my damnedest not to eat it all in one sitting.  We’ll see how that works out.  I’m sure by the time you read my next post it will be written from the crane that will be used to haul my whale-like body out of my apartment.  Ah, I can feel my ass getting bigger by the minute.

Thrust Buckets?

There are days in life that I enjoy the company of this man.  And then there are days like today…

Mmm… Sleep

Yesterday, upon arriving home I ate roasted duck fried rice, frozen yogurt, and enjoyed one beer.  Since then, at approximately 3:30 p.m., I have been sleeping.  It’s nearly 8:00 a.m. now.  

Let’s talk in detail about that trip… as soon as my body has repaired itself from the damage that the Harvard students have subjected me too.  

Looking forward to getting back to this one.  It’s a doozie.