Category Archives: Daily Grind

Thursdays Are Good

Katie and I are officially 4 steps closer to completing our journey of the 100 things to taste in SF! More on that in a moment… 

More importantly is the conversation Katie and I had as we were getting ready to go out on our tour of “tastes.”

Me: Hey, so I bought some cellulite gel today…

Kate:  Why?  You don’t even have cellulite.

Me:  I know, BUT I will… and it was on sale.  I’m taking preventative measures and I’m thrifty.

On to the food… Yesterday might have been the most amazing food day of my life!

8. Shrimp and Chive Dumplings at Ton Kiang

Dim Sum

Let’s discuss this a bit.  Never in my 22 (and a half, it’s my half birthday today by the way) years have I ever, EVER felt so amazing after consuming a dish.  Ton Kiang gave me a stomach orgasm – seriously…  These dumplings found my G-Spot in a minute flat… I’m pretty sure some of my previous boyfriend’s are still looking for it I have several ex-boyfriends with great personalities. 

9.  Tommy’s Margarita at Tommy’s Mexican

IMG_0054

An AMAZING rita… Outstanding service.  I would have loved to sit there all evening just hanging out, watching soccer, and munching chips and salsa. Mmm mmm.

10. Meatballs at Aziza

Meatballs

Delish and the cocktails here. WOW.

11. Yellowtail Collar at Oyaji

So, when we got to Oyaji I was a tish tipsy so I totally forgot to take a picture of the food. I was also a bit distracted by the sushi chef who was completely hysterical, drunk, and incredible.  He kept calling Katie “black 3rd nipple”.  Why you ask?? I’ll show you.  Black Nipple

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life.  We obviously had a great fucking time.  

Happy Weekend, all!

Harry Potter count down: 4 days and 6 hours!!!

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An Affair That I’m So Glad I Remembered

Last night after slipping in to a food coma via a 6” Tuscan Chicken Melt Subway sandwich and a double chocolate chip cookie (also from Subway), I dreamt a dream…  And not just any dream a beautiful fanciful dream I’ve been suppressing for months.

Right before I feel asleep last night, I completed my 40th hour of “How I Met Your Mother.”  This is irrelevant to the story.  However, the main character, Ted Mosby, is an exact carbon copy of one of my friends from back home.  They look alike.  They sound alike.  Their successes/failures with women are also eerily similar.  It’s kind of beginning to freak me out.  But the looks… they’re uncanny. 

Example A.  Ted Mosby:

ted

Example B.  My friend, Aaron Savoy:

n23402222_42591308_187Photo belongs to my friend Pam

CRAZY, huh.

Anyway.  I was fortunate enough to enjoy a very lovely dream starring Mr. Taylor Kitsch aka Timmy Riggins from “Friday Night Lights.”  

taylor_wall_3

Feel free to draw your own conclusions about this dream.

Actively Acting Against Bikini Weather

This week has been sort of a whirl wind.  

I picked up LOADS of extra shifts at Town Hall and then remembered that some friends from my recent trip to Harvard would be coming into town for a couple of weeks beginning last Thursday.  Fortunately, they are lovely ladies who prefer to fend for themselves rather than depend on my laughable attempts to entertain them.

I have also eaten several bags of Double Chocolate Milano Cookies – Mostly because I’ve been a major PMSing bitch for the majority of this week.  

Tonight, I procured a large amount of my restaurants “famous” butterscotch and chocolate pot de creme.  I’m trying my damnedest not to eat it all in one sitting.  We’ll see how that works out.  I’m sure by the time you read my next post it will be written from the crane that will be used to haul my whale-like body out of my apartment.  Ah, I can feel my ass getting bigger by the minute.

Not For the Faint of Heart

DISCLAIMER: No, seriously.  You may not want to read this… But, I’m going to write it anyway.  

So, remember when I said I was getting ready to do the Master Cleanse.  Yeah, well that’s going to have to get put on hold.  Why? You may ask.  Well you shouldn’t but I’m going to tell you anyway.  I am seriously, seriously constipated.  

Still want to keep reading… It’s only going down from here.

Well, the other night I had heard that the Saline Cleanse was a good alternative to the Master Cleanse (it is also a part of the cleanse, but I had heard it was quite effective on it’s own.)  So, I tried it.  1 Quart of water and 2 large tablespoons of salt heated a bit on the stove so the salt can melt.  Then you drink it.  All of it.  Quickly.  Sounds easy, right?  Well, it’s not.  I almost vomited in the process.  But, I finished it.  Allegedly, it should take effect in 15 minutes-2 hours. So, I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more to no avail.  I had also heard that sometimes it can be ineffective on the first try, but is after subsequent daily tries.  By work I mean Niagra Falls out of the butt. By not working I mean, you should at least have a bowel movement just without the “flushing”/”cleansing” experience.  I, however, experienced neither.  Fucking awesome.

I didn’t think much of this that night.  I figured I just did it wrong.  The odds of that where pretty great – considering I screw things up all the fucking time quite frequently.  I decided I’d wait until Katie got back into town to actually begin the cleanse.  (Although, I haven’t had a drink since Sunday… so suck it, bitches.)  

Today, I thought I’d try that saline flush again.  One, I wanted to try to cleanse my body once more.  And two, because I’d failed to have a bowel movement since Sunday morning (today is Wednesday, by the way.)  This time I read up on it a bit more thoroughly.   

Try #2:  Heat, mix, chug, and wait.  Wait some more.  Still fucking waiting. 

At this point I’ve begun to grow concerned.  I have a belly full of salt water.  And no pooping, not even a little gurgling, not even one little fart in 4 days… This had just moved from the annoyance zone to a serious problem.  

Once Katie arrived from her weekend getaway I decided it was time to go about my next plan of action.  Blue Bottle.  Blue Bottle’s New Orleans style iced coffee is sure to give you the “urge” before you even finish the cup.  It is the most beautiful natural laxative ever.  So, as soon as she got in the door I explained my “predicament”.  Katie quickly replied, “Yeah, if a Blue Bottle can’t cure that – then you’ve got a serious problem.”  I knew she was right.  We then set off to get a coffee and a copy of my house keys (which I thought I had lost earlier this week – this later becomes an interesting part of my tale…)  

Upon arriving back at home, Katie’s Blue Bottle had already taken it’s toll. (Sorry Kates)  I, however, felt nothing at all.  Well, nothing except for the panic that I may never be able to take a shit again.  My serious problem has just escalated to full on crisis mode.  Which lead to crazed googling of “can one die from constipation?”  

What I learned is that, “you can not die, though you may be in severe pain, and should probably go see a doctor.”  I hate the doctor by the way.  HATE.  I once walked around for 2 months with a broken wrist because I refused to see a doctor.  It still hurts like hell when the weather changes.  And, I wasn’t feeling any excruciating discomfort at this point so I figured I had a few good days left in me before my colon would explode.  So, I told Katie I had to go to the drug store to get some sort of over the counter medicinal laxative.  She whole-heartedly agreed… since the Blue Bottle test was an utter failure. 

At the drug store I had my choice of plenty of laxatives.  But ALL of them were “gentle” and would take overnight to work.  I didn’t fucking have all night… maybe two days ago I had all night.  Not anymore.  No I needed something to work now, as in RIGHT NOW.  How the hell do teenage girls use laxatives as an effective method of bulimia. Goddamn it, if those hookers can figure this shit out (no pun intended, no really) then I certainly should.  And then I saw it, the shiny little box that said “Effective Immediately”.  Ding ding ding!!!  I bent down to read the box a tish more closely… and then a very disturbing word popped out at me. Suppository.   Yep, nope… not quite that desperate yet.  Exit only.  I’ve said that enough times is my life… Ahem.

So, I came home empty handed.  Totally defeated.  

Until, I remembered… I was annoyed with the boyfriend.  I had texted him hours ago about when were meeting up to watch “LOST”.  With no response.  I had also texted him earlier that week to see if he maybe had my keys.  No response.  Thus, I assumed they were completely missing.  Now, I was pissed.  So, as I like to do when I get mad – I send slightly passive aggressive messages.  This one read something like, “I guess in that case we aren’t watching it tonight.” (Not really mean, just enough to imply,”What the fuck, sketch ball!”)  

Ring, ring.  Ring, ring.  He’s calling me.  Good he knows I’m pissed, let’s let him suffer a minute.  REJECT.  This is not nice, I know… but he’d been MIA for 3 days.  I do not tolerate such things, not without mild punishment.  Then I typically forget.  I fume for a moment.  Oh, cute he’s left a voicemail.  I’ll call him back.  Later.

WAIT. What is that feeling.  Oh my god.  I think I actually have the “urge”!  Fucking finally.  

So, the moral of this story is that the Master Cleanse is the devil.  Getting pissed off at your boyfriend cures constipation.  And accidently blocking your boyfriends phone number from your text messaging service is not a good thing.  Especially, when he does in fact have the keys you’ve lost… and you’ve already spent $50 to get another key card to get yourself into your apartment  building.  Amazing.

What Can Salt Do For You?

Happy Easter/Passover/3-Day Weekend, Internet!  I hope your holiday was as enjoyable as mine.  I was a picture perfect weekend in San Francisco.  Clear skies, sunny, warm, and only moderately windy.  I took part in a bunch of activities with Craig and the rest of the IGN.com crew.  An afternoon in Golden Gate Park and a glorious Pot Luck dinner at Katie Frick’s were the main events.  I also managed the time to make Craig a pretty lame Easter Basket – it’s the thought that counts though, right?

Tomorrow marks the beginning of my master cleanse.  Sea salt morning cleanses; cayenne, maple syrup, and lemon water all day long, and of course  no food.  Awesome!  The true test is how long does everyone think I can go without the booze.  Ideally the cleanse lasts 10 days – Think I can make it?!?

We shall see.  Feel free to begin your over or under pot now.

Photos I’d Never Seen Until Today

These were taken the first time I hung out with Mikey and Rich. Colleen and Brant (other friends that I work with at Town Hall) were also there that evening. Brant is featured in the second photo I found via Mikey’s Flickr account.

Me Looking Kind Of Rough To Say The Least

Me and Brant

To the man who will never read this… Thank you

So I’ve been riding the Muni (the above and below ground light-rail train in SF and my new favorite form of public transit) J-Church train nearly every morning lately.  Most days I get off the train at about 8:45 at the Civic Center stop.  And nearly everyday there is a man who plays his guitar by the 7th street exit of the station. He looks to be in his early 40’s and looks a bit rough around the edges, like he’s had a rough life not like he’s been sleeping on the street in his own feces for the past 2 weeks.  I look forward to seeing him as I’m leaving because he is the most beautiful part of my day as ascend to dark and borderline vile streets above.  

The first time I saw him he was playing and singing “Across the Universe” and it was so calming in that moment.  In the middle of all the chaos of the morning, commuting, and general running around, it gave me a chance to stand back and realize that it’s okay to slow down for a minute and see beauty in the most unexpected places.  

Now, depending on the day I sometimes leave a couple bucks in his cup when I can, other times just I walk by but make sure to give a smile to show that I appreciate what he’s doing.  But it’s so nice on the days that have the extra time to linger and listen… 

Today, however, he was speaking with a woman as I was walking up and as I walked past he stopped talking, looked at me, and waved.  In that moment it was so nice to be recognized as someone worth acknowledging.  Me, a perfect stranger.  I only hope that I make him feel the same.  Because today I really needed that simple gesture, and I think everyday is an opportunity for each of us to do something that simple…

So to the man who plays guitar at the Muni station, Thank you. Thank you for being a bright light in a sometimes dark world.  You are beautiful to me – and you inspire me to seek out beauty in unexpected places. 

If you have time today you need to do two things… 

1. Stop. And just appreciate the beauty around you.

2. Read this article, it’s a long one but totally worth it. I know it’s not quite the same as my story, it’s on a much more grand scale… But the moral is the same.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html